Monday, 15 June 2009


Bernie Nolan

Ever since Awful Mollie's Auntie Pam turned up in The Street she has cast a shadow of inertia and low level misery over the cobbles :(

Her nylon anoraks, the enormous patent plastic mock snakeskin shopping bag she smuggles past-its-sell-by-date luncheon meat in and her Nolan Sisters hairdo (the standard hairdo which was inflicted on any woman who visited a provincial hairdresser from 1974-1983 inclusive) ... all of these things in themselves would be enough to send the viewer into a vague depression.

Far worse though, her character gets involved in all of the feeblest plots on the street, brings out the worst in writers and she is most closely associated with Corrie's other least likeable characters (Awful Mollie and her Village Of The Damned eyes and relentless jauntiness! Gormless mouth breather Tyrone, nearer to an ape than a human being! No wonder poor Jack Duckworth takes such long extended leaves of absence these days).

Last week's Pam went on a double date with Bill Webster, Gabrielle "Nick Drake's sister" Drake and some bloke who looked as if he could have been in a second rate 1950's British comedy film alongside Ian Carmichael and Pat Coombs.

Pam was pretending to be a concert pianist in order to impress 1950's man and Gabrielle "Nick Drake's sister" Drake.

The script was so awful that I actually started to feel sorry for Pam. I'm sure that at some point she said "oooooooh, Brahms and Liszt!" in a pseudo posh accent.

Perhaps it's time for Pam to go back to her day job in The Nolan Sisters.

Co-incidentally, The Nolans are undertaking a 17 date tour of Britain. They will be hitting all the high spots - Talk Of The Town in Middlesbrough and Weston Super Mare's Winter Gardens among them. Book early to avoid disappointment!!