Sunday, 3 May 2009


I've had high hopes that Ken Barlow's torrid affair with Stephanie Beecham would lead to some happiness during Ken's twilight years. Um, actually, hold on - Ken is probably only *59* in Coronation Street years, so I should really say middle age.

Anyway, since Ken walked the ghastly, foul smelling dog Eccles down the towpath and had a chance encounter with the former star of The Colbys he's finally blossomed as a human being.  At last he has found someone who he can talk to about Ibsen, especially as Stephanie once starred in Ibsen's The Doll's House!  They can remember the Ban The Bomb marches, they can remember "smoking potash" and they both luff A Kind Of Blue, as well as all sorts of classical music and proper literature and all!

Back in Ken's house on Tha Street, it's impossible to have conversation or the thrill of shared experiences.  Usually it's as packed as a phone box is when there's an attempt to break the world record for the number of people who can fit into a phone box.

It is impossible to have an *interesting* conversation with Missus Ken (Deirdre).   On and off, Ken has been in a reliable but unexciting relationship with Deirdre for millions of years.  Since he's been retired, he spends as much spare time as possible at the library.

Well, until he finally took the ghastly, foul smelling dog Eccles for a walk down that towpath after it had disappeared from Corrie for two years.   There he encountered Stephanie Beecham and her barge and her drapey grey cashmere cardigans and her bohemian outlook on life.  This was a heady taste of the exotic to poor emotionally famished Ken.

The affair was a slow burner, and Stephanie said she was calling it quits when she found out that Ken was married.  Except, what with her being a woman and all, she has now offered Ken an ultimatum: come with her as she chugs off to Tamworth to see some friends ... or get out of her life forever.

It will all end in doom and Ken will be even more frustrated, which will give him the chance to *get his teeth* into some *real acting*.

My guess is that Stephanie will head all the way to London with Ken, then will dump him for a young black actor who is playing Othello.

Still, only time will tell.  Maybe they'll reach their own crossroads at Bagnall Lock.  Watch this space.


MJ said...

Oh my!

So much has happened in nine months!

As you'll recall, we are 9 months behind in Corrie episodes here in The Colonies.

Ken is currently about to accompany a homosexual (Gail's father) to the theatah (much to Blanche's dismay).

She's convinced it's a slippery slope that will lead to Ken using moisturizer.

MJ said...

Oh yes, Ken has also just literally "thrown in the towel" at Roy's Rolls.

MJ said...

Given the choice, I'd rather see Ken getting jiggy with Stephanie than Deirdre and Dev.

Who can forget THAT?

I'll stop now.

Just a tad excited about your new blog.

*sits back and waits for novelty to wear off*

Sky Clearbrook said...

Quite enjoyed Ken's end-of-episode ginnel mooching on Friday night.

He's clearly deeply dissatisfied with his lot (the scene was neatly underscored by Deirdre's throaty/phlegmmy laugh echoing from within No.1 and the close-up on the saucer containing a great big pile of her old fag ends!). Go on, Ken... fill your boots. The grass is always greener, isn't it? It'll never end in tears. No fucking way.

The man never learns.

Betty said...

MJ - well, Ken has still been going to the theatre, to see Stephanie tread the boards. Gail's dad, though, knows about Ken's affair and has been keeping schtum even though he's a bit ambivalent about it. Ken's once more just *thrown in the towel* at Roy's Rolls. Some things just keep going on and on in an endless cycle, don't they?

Sky - the close up view of the pile of fag ends was a bit vom-inducing. Actually, I'm a bit fed up of all the likes of Peter Barlow getting up on the moral high ground telling Ken that he has a moral duty to hold the family together when that family consists of Blanche (who disappeared from the Street for twenty five years), Deirdre (who shagged Mike Baldwin) and Peter himself (fucked off to Southampton and attempted to drink his sorrows away). Anyone with an ounce of gumption would have gone into hiding in South America before now.

MJ said...

Has Haley returned from Africa yet?

Here in The Colonies, Becky has just moved out of Roy's flat in a huff.

Scarlet-Blue said...

Oh fab!!! *claps hands like an overexcited seal*
Oh MJ, I'm bursting to tell you what happens to Becky - she's my favourite... but my dinner is ready and I have an hour of soap starting with Corrie at 7.30pm - got to dash....

Scarlet-Blue said...

Okay.. it's Tuesday... soap night was last night [sob].

KAZ said...

Ken had to finish with Stephanie because if he takes off his corsets he would fall over - which would be too embarrassing.
I'm sure he's been in Corrie for 59 years since the days when Joanne lumley was his girlfriend.

Geoff said...

Stephanie is not fit to lace Ken's boots. Ken is a true working class intellectual. Redbrick universities needed the likes of him more than vice versa.

How can a woman of, shall we say, "mature" years play Blanche Dubois, anyway? She'll be in O! Calcutta next!

The library is a better place to find intelligent crumpet, anyway. Go on, Ken. Fill your boots amongst the classics.

MJ said...

Scarlet: You MISSED an episode?

I would have a breakdown if that happened.

Geoff: Why is it that you never see the library on Corrie?

Is it because Ken is the only patron?

Geoff said...

Does Blanche go to the library or does Ken get her books out on his card?

I'm sure Roy must go there. Absorbed in the History section.

MJ said...

The only thing Blanche reads is the obits section of the newspaper.

As for Royston, he once confessed his secret yearning to be a librarian.

This confession occurred after a scene in which he was bullied by builder Vince.

To which Hayley replied, "Nobody has my husband holed up in our flat wishing he was a librarian! Nobody!"

Betty said...

Scarlet - calm down a bit. This blog is likely to last as long as one of Ken's flings.

Geoff - I think Blanche Hunt should have played Blanche Dubois in the Weatherfield Rep version of A Streetcar Named Desire, with Jason Grimshaw in the Stanley Kowalski role.

MJ - the library in Corrie is never seen because it's just one of them things. Is it in Inkerman Street?

lom said...

He had his chance to get rid of Deirdre, Mike loved her and she was going to leave with him, but Ken stop her fun. So it's his own fault.

And yes I know it's not real, but I do love it

Betty said...

Iom - Hello & welcome. Ken was quick to get up on the moral high ground over Deirdre's affair, overlooking the number of affairs he's notched up, eh?

Scarlet-Blue said...

I hope Ken doesn't go back to book writing. That was too scary... but if he does maybe they'll get it published in time for Christmas.

lom said...

ken's been with everyone on the street hasn't he?

Betty said...

Scarlet - I know, he'll base his story of a man trapped in the confines of a dead end relationship with a social inferior on *a friend that he knows*. Is it going to be published by the Weatherfield Writers' Co-operative?

Iom - he's reached the point where there aren't any women of a similar age left for him to get off with, hence he met Stephanie while out walking the dog.