So, farewell then Scary Mary. You didn't have your evil way with Norris Cole, so all is well and good. The idea that anyone would want to have their evil way with Norris is so abstract that it's impossible to understand. Still, if anyone WAS remotely attempting to get into Norris's knickers, it would be Mary ...
Scary Mary in younger, leaner, hungrier and sexier times.
I'm not sure what Mary's real age is, but mentally she is about 74. Most of us are pathetically attempting to hold back the years ("well, you speak for yourself!" says the blog's only reader). Mary is hurtling towards the grave happily. Having seen her enormous and terrible mother off to the afterlife, she has acquired a camper van and has been dreaming of travelling the world in her twilight years (ie., now, when she's about 38 or summat).
Mary reminds me of the kind of 70+ women who go to BHS on a weekday morning and have an enormous dump which stinks the toilets out for the rest of the day. I think they get a lot of enjoyment from keeping a regular habit. It gives them something to do other than watch This Morning and besides, it means that they don't leave any unpleasant aromas in their own bathroom.
Yep, Mary thinks like a pensioner alright ...
... except that the scriptwriters went into "fringe theatre" mode, and sent her a bit doolally before her exit.
You know what Corrie's fringe theatre scripts are like, don't you? Full of quirky stuff, knowing references and innuendo. You usually have to suffer them on Friday nights, presumably because viewers have had a couple of drinks and can handle the more offbeat vibe.
Suddenly, Mary was throwing herself at Norris, lighting joss sticks to "get rid of any fishy odours" (fnar fnar) and yabbering about Sheena Easton's avant garde hemlines.
WTF? as they say nowadays.
Mary's exit has coincided with the arrival of Norris's "long lost" (soap speak) brother, who naturally has a dark, daaaaark secret.
Come on, we're not that stupid. Anyone over the age of 40 will KNOW WHO HE IS!
... it's Leonard Sachs off of The Good Old Days! Why is that a dark, daaaaaaark secret exactly?